Does this look like the face of a safe conscientious driver? I certainly hope so, since this child will be driving on a road near you pending the passing of her permit test. Never fear I will be right beside her supporting (read: freaking out and probably yelling) her and guiding her to good driving. God help us all.


You have been *warned*

Sometimes your the leg.*
Lately I have been the leg.....











*Yes that is my leg.
That is my Boss's dog
Yes she brings the dog to the office and
Yes it has a fetish for my legs
Yes I know you want to be me
No dogs were harmed during the taking of this picture, my psyche however may never recover

So I have an awesome friend named Kate. Kate and I have been friends through one shitty nursing job after another. Now anyone in the health care field knows how hard it is to have lasting friendships amongst nurses. Nurses tend to eat their own but Kate and I have forged an alliance that have left many slack jawed home care managers in its wake.
Now part of Kate's appeal as a friend is the steady stream of crazy relatives and friends that rival my own. Such as her Aunt. We will call her Aunt Scary for the purpose of this post. Now Aunt Scary is the typical never left the 1970's pot head hippie. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she takes it to a whole 'nother level. To put this in perspective, Aunt Scary worked at a factory and happily drank margaritas and smoked dope for many years until 2 months ago when she got laid off. She did all of this with the companionship of her geriatric dog Brutus, who is some type of small yippy puff dog.
So what follows is a conversation between Kate and I about her Aunt:
Kate: My Aunt Scary called me today.....
Me: OMG What now?
Kate: She had to get off work early today to prepay Brutus's funeral
Me: She is prepaying.....a dog's funeral?
Kate: Yeah dude I swear
Me: She just got laid off and she is paying for this how?
Kate: Well, she did get a job at Arby's
Me: So let me get this straight, she *is* prepaying the dog's funeral but when she dies it will just fall on you all to pay for her funeral?
Kate: Why should anything change after she is dead?

So Riss is 1 thyroid short of a full deck but is home and recovering beautifully. The surgeon called me on Thursday with the final path report, everything was confined to the thyroid, which is laymans terms means that Riss should lead a long happy life with the aid of some Synthroid. I am quitew pleased with how her recovery has gone. She slept the past 3 days but now is up and about finishing up school work she has missed. The incision line looks to be very small although I cannot see it because of the dressing which will not be removed until Monday. She had a drain that was removed the day after surgery and that area has healed remarkably well. There is something to be said for your head and neck surgeon also being a board certified plastic surgeon.
I want to take this opportunity to thank all those who had kind words, prayed for Riss and our family, and those who sent flowers. You made a very difficult time a very tolerable one for a scared 15 year old and her family. Special thanks also to the girls on my MILF board. Although I have had to fight with Riss that she is not well enough to go to the mall yet, the 200.00 gift card definitely made her day. I am amazed every day by the generosity and caring of you ladies. Also thank you to Aunt Lori and Grandma Carole who kept me company during Riss's 5 hour surgery and Kate for helping to keep Riss laughing. My world is definitely a better place with all these people in it.

So we make our trek to the Cleveland Clinic on Sunday night for surgery Monday morning. We have waited for this day so Riss could feel better, but yet it seems to have come up too soon. I don't know if I am ready for this. I know it has to be done but that does not mean that I am happy about it. I am scared out of my mind. I think Riss is probably handling it better at this point. She sees it as an end to all the horrible symptoms she has been experiencing. I used to think being a nurse put me at an advantage when it came to medical issues. It. does. not. My mind immediately goes to worst case scenerios and it keeps me up at night. Please pray that my girl will come through and not need anything more then radiation. We both would be eternally grateful!

We have spent upwards of 9 Valentines Day's together. Who knew that 1 blind date would turn into meeting the person I would love for the rest of my life.
Jim and I met on a blind date. I decided to take some friends with me, in case he was a serial killer, or worse, ugly. I remember hiding behind the door and telling my friend I would signal if I thought he was heinous, and if I signaled, to tell him I couldn't make it. Well obviously he wasn't heinous.
We went out to a bar that night in a group. He was charming and everything I could ever want. I ended up drinking a little too much that night, and Jim made the mistake of wearing a white Polo shirt. I must interject that this was the 1st and last night he ever wore white around me:). I remember the jello shots of gold schlagger which were probably my downfall that night. I ended up puking my guts out all over Jim's nice white shirt.
I knew after that night he was the one, not because he asked me out again after I puked all over Eastern Ohio, not because he was so sweet about my puking and so caring, but because he held my hair while I puked that night so it wouldn't get in the toilet.
Happy Valentines Day Jim! I know you probably got the bad end of this deal:) xoxo

The surgery date has been set. Risser will be going to the Cleveland Clinic to have a total thyroidectomy. Surgery was postponed supposedly to get the thyroid under control. I think we just happen to have a busy surgeon and he fit us in when he could. This belief was affirmed by a call from the Endocrinologist who said that the thyroid inhibitor should be working at full throttle now and Riss could stop the Inderal. While I am doing cartwheels(ok theorhetical cartwheels), this pisses me off too. If she could go off the Inderal then the thyroid inhibitor is working and she should be stable for surgery. I know this is very slow growing but this puts Riss possibly missing outdoor track season as well. I know this sounds silly but she trained so hard for indoor track and then to miss it bummed her out. She just wants this over with and I cannot say that I blame her. I mean if I had two tumors on my thyroid one of them visible and palpable, I would be ready to get it out too. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers around the 2nd of March. They are all greatly appreciated!