Now my friend Scaren is one of the most cool "normal" people I know. The thing about Scaren is she is surrounded by people with odd theories about everything. She is a virtual plethora of humorous stories. Today's post will be about her husband Bark*. Now to put this into perspective, Bark wore a mullet up until 5 years ago with the requisite black comb in his back pocket. Bark never graduated from high school nor did many members of his family. So Scaren is a bit of a rock star to them since she graduated and also has a bit of college under her belt.
So Scaren calls me yesterday and tells me Bark has a brand new theory. Bark heard from the guys he works with that Barack is a closet Muslim. If that weren't scandalous enough Muslim's apparently have a network of friends that can/will kill you with a mere nod from Barack should he become President. Now he has nothing to back this up but a couple of redneck cement pourer's he works with.
Here is our conversation
Scaren: Bark came home with a new theory yesterday

Me: Do tell I can only imagine

Scaren: He says Barack Obama is a closet Muslim.

Me: Really Ummmmm so what if he was

Scaren: Well Bark says that the guys told him that if you are Muslim you have a network of people who will kill for you. And if he becomes President he will start having people killed

Me: Wow maybe we should become Muslim's, cause that would rock

Me: Really Scaren how do you take it? How do you not just punch him in the head when he says shit like that?

Scaren: I like him dumb, I can mindfuck him that way

Indeed!
*names changed to protect the innocent and the stupid