Let's say theoretically that a certain nurse turned in their 2 week notice yesterday. When this un-named nurse got to work today they had the Regional Manager and the nurses direct supervisor waiting to have a meeting with the nurse. Let's also say this nurse was written up because of a comment on their Facebook and this nurses entire Facebook was copied and sent to HR. The comment named no names and was something along the lines of abuse of power. No mention of said company nor any of the company's employees. Now the one comment they are taking exception with was posted at 9:30am while waiting on a patient to get home. This comment was posted during working hours, although it was posted by theoretical nurses i-phone. This nurse was *not* in the office nor did they think that their comment was inflammatory, it was really just exasperation with the situation. Now say this write-up just happened to come 2 days after the nurse shared their concerns about management to Human Resources. This nurse feels extremely violated by having their private thoughts and conversations sent to HR. This nurse is also extremely worried that this is some type of retaliation. This nurse also happens to be freaking out and does not know what to do. Has anyone on the whole internet ever had to deal with this? Any advice? You know so I can let *my friend* know.....
*This was originally written 2 weeks ago because I got paranoid and took it down in case Big Brother is watching. Anyone have any ideas on how *my friend* might get her personal information out of her personnel file?

Well at least her business cards did. Aunt Becky from http://mommywantsvodka.psys.org/ , one of my all time favorite bloggers, had a contest of sorts involving her business cards. I spent way too much time on this with mediocre results. I have also come to the conclusion that I really need a hobby besides taking bad pictures of a bloggers business card. So without further ado; I present to you:

PS. You may have to click on the picture to read the captions:)

Aunt Becky's business card goes to Ohio:

<---------------This is a painting that was on the wall of a patient I was seeing. Now listen I am a nurse and think I am fairly evolved that a penis does not send me into a fit of girlish giggles. However my patient sat right in front of this painting so it appeared that this nekkid gentleman's penis was coming right out of my patients ear. I added the flowers since we are a family friendly website so you may have to use your imagination. I don't believe I heard much of what my patient had to say as I was trying to figure out what the hell the man in the painting was trying to do. Is he looking at his toenails? Stretching naked? Naked carpentry? I sent this picture to my friends and some of the suggestions were hilarious. I finally broke down and asked my patient the story behind the painting. It was very banal and I am sorry I asked. I preferred the stories my friends and I made up. What do you all think the man in the painting is doing?

Does this look like the face of a safe conscientious driver? I certainly hope so, since this child will be driving on a road near you pending the passing of her permit test. Never fear I will be right beside her supporting (read: freaking out and probably yelling) her and guiding her to good driving. God help us all.


You have been *warned*

Sometimes your the leg.*
Lately I have been the leg.....











*Yes that is my leg.
That is my Boss's dog
Yes she brings the dog to the office and
Yes it has a fetish for my legs
Yes I know you want to be me
No dogs were harmed during the taking of this picture, my psyche however may never recover

So I have an awesome friend named Kate. Kate and I have been friends through one shitty nursing job after another. Now anyone in the health care field knows how hard it is to have lasting friendships amongst nurses. Nurses tend to eat their own but Kate and I have forged an alliance that have left many slack jawed home care managers in its wake.
Now part of Kate's appeal as a friend is the steady stream of crazy relatives and friends that rival my own. Such as her Aunt. We will call her Aunt Scary for the purpose of this post. Now Aunt Scary is the typical never left the 1970's pot head hippie. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she takes it to a whole 'nother level. To put this in perspective, Aunt Scary worked at a factory and happily drank margaritas and smoked dope for many years until 2 months ago when she got laid off. She did all of this with the companionship of her geriatric dog Brutus, who is some type of small yippy puff dog.
So what follows is a conversation between Kate and I about her Aunt:
Kate: My Aunt Scary called me today.....
Me: OMG What now?
Kate: She had to get off work early today to prepay Brutus's funeral
Me: She is prepaying.....a dog's funeral?
Kate: Yeah dude I swear
Me: She just got laid off and she is paying for this how?
Kate: Well, she did get a job at Arby's
Me: So let me get this straight, she *is* prepaying the dog's funeral but when she dies it will just fall on you all to pay for her funeral?
Kate: Why should anything change after she is dead?

So Riss is 1 thyroid short of a full deck but is home and recovering beautifully. The surgeon called me on Thursday with the final path report, everything was confined to the thyroid, which is laymans terms means that Riss should lead a long happy life with the aid of some Synthroid. I am quitew pleased with how her recovery has gone. She slept the past 3 days but now is up and about finishing up school work she has missed. The incision line looks to be very small although I cannot see it because of the dressing which will not be removed until Monday. She had a drain that was removed the day after surgery and that area has healed remarkably well. There is something to be said for your head and neck surgeon also being a board certified plastic surgeon.
I want to take this opportunity to thank all those who had kind words, prayed for Riss and our family, and those who sent flowers. You made a very difficult time a very tolerable one for a scared 15 year old and her family. Special thanks also to the girls on my MILF board. Although I have had to fight with Riss that she is not well enough to go to the mall yet, the 200.00 gift card definitely made her day. I am amazed every day by the generosity and caring of you ladies. Also thank you to Aunt Lori and Grandma Carole who kept me company during Riss's 5 hour surgery and Kate for helping to keep Riss laughing. My world is definitely a better place with all these people in it.