So it has been many moons since I have written anything on here. Not that anyone is waiting with baited breath for this months in coming post. I have never heard of higher education killing anyone but I am starting to wonder. Between work, school, and spawn I barely have time to brush my teeth.
Risser entered the world of the gainfully employed. She is working for a catering company every weekend serving at weddings. This means I have another new job which is waiting until she gets off work at 1-2 a.m. and going to pick her. It is literally 2 blocks away but no way am I letting her walk home at that hour. She is loving not having to ask for spending money and we are loving not having to hand over $50 a week in allowance.
Everything else is staus quo. We had Ralphie's kindergarten parent teacher conference. He is friggen brilliant just as we suspected;). We I suppose this rambling has went on long enough. Until next time...keep on keeping on

Let's say theoretically that a certain nurse turned in their 2 week notice yesterday. When this un-named nurse got to work today they had the Regional Manager and the nurses direct supervisor waiting to have a meeting with the nurse. Let's also say this nurse was written up because of a comment on their Facebook and this nurses entire Facebook was copied and sent to HR. The comment named no names and was something along the lines of abuse of power. No mention of said company nor any of the company's employees. Now the one comment they are taking exception with was posted at 9:30am while waiting on a patient to get home. This comment was posted during working hours, although it was posted by theoretical nurses i-phone. This nurse was *not* in the office nor did they think that their comment was inflammatory, it was really just exasperation with the situation. Now say this write-up just happened to come 2 days after the nurse shared their concerns about management to Human Resources. This nurse feels extremely violated by having their private thoughts and conversations sent to HR. This nurse is also extremely worried that this is some type of retaliation. This nurse also happens to be freaking out and does not know what to do. Has anyone on the whole internet ever had to deal with this? Any advice? You know so I can let *my friend* know.....
*This was originally written 2 weeks ago because I got paranoid and took it down in case Big Brother is watching. Anyone have any ideas on how *my friend* might get her personal information out of her personnel file?

Well at least her business cards did. Aunt Becky from http://mommywantsvodka.psys.org/ , one of my all time favorite bloggers, had a contest of sorts involving her business cards. I spent way too much time on this with mediocre results. I have also come to the conclusion that I really need a hobby besides taking bad pictures of a bloggers business card. So without further ado; I present to you:

PS. You may have to click on the picture to read the captions:)

Aunt Becky's business card goes to Ohio:

<---------------This is a painting that was on the wall of a patient I was seeing. Now listen I am a nurse and think I am fairly evolved that a penis does not send me into a fit of girlish giggles. However my patient sat right in front of this painting so it appeared that this nekkid gentleman's penis was coming right out of my patients ear. I added the flowers since we are a family friendly website so you may have to use your imagination. I don't believe I heard much of what my patient had to say as I was trying to figure out what the hell the man in the painting was trying to do. Is he looking at his toenails? Stretching naked? Naked carpentry? I sent this picture to my friends and some of the suggestions were hilarious. I finally broke down and asked my patient the story behind the painting. It was very banal and I am sorry I asked. I preferred the stories my friends and I made up. What do you all think the man in the painting is doing?

Does this look like the face of a safe conscientious driver? I certainly hope so, since this child will be driving on a road near you pending the passing of her permit test. Never fear I will be right beside her supporting (read: freaking out and probably yelling) her and guiding her to good driving. God help us all.


You have been *warned*

Sometimes your the leg.*
Lately I have been the leg.....











*Yes that is my leg.
That is my Boss's dog
Yes she brings the dog to the office and
Yes it has a fetish for my legs
Yes I know you want to be me
No dogs were harmed during the taking of this picture, my psyche however may never recover

So I have an awesome friend named Kate. Kate and I have been friends through one shitty nursing job after another. Now anyone in the health care field knows how hard it is to have lasting friendships amongst nurses. Nurses tend to eat their own but Kate and I have forged an alliance that have left many slack jawed home care managers in its wake.
Now part of Kate's appeal as a friend is the steady stream of crazy relatives and friends that rival my own. Such as her Aunt. We will call her Aunt Scary for the purpose of this post. Now Aunt Scary is the typical never left the 1970's pot head hippie. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she takes it to a whole 'nother level. To put this in perspective, Aunt Scary worked at a factory and happily drank margaritas and smoked dope for many years until 2 months ago when she got laid off. She did all of this with the companionship of her geriatric dog Brutus, who is some type of small yippy puff dog.
So what follows is a conversation between Kate and I about her Aunt:
Kate: My Aunt Scary called me today.....
Me: OMG What now?
Kate: She had to get off work early today to prepay Brutus's funeral
Me: She is prepaying.....a dog's funeral?
Kate: Yeah dude I swear
Me: She just got laid off and she is paying for this how?
Kate: Well, she did get a job at Arby's
Me: So let me get this straight, she *is* prepaying the dog's funeral but when she dies it will just fall on you all to pay for her funeral?
Kate: Why should anything change after she is dead?

So Riss is 1 thyroid short of a full deck but is home and recovering beautifully. The surgeon called me on Thursday with the final path report, everything was confined to the thyroid, which is laymans terms means that Riss should lead a long happy life with the aid of some Synthroid. I am quitew pleased with how her recovery has gone. She slept the past 3 days but now is up and about finishing up school work she has missed. The incision line looks to be very small although I cannot see it because of the dressing which will not be removed until Monday. She had a drain that was removed the day after surgery and that area has healed remarkably well. There is something to be said for your head and neck surgeon also being a board certified plastic surgeon.
I want to take this opportunity to thank all those who had kind words, prayed for Riss and our family, and those who sent flowers. You made a very difficult time a very tolerable one for a scared 15 year old and her family. Special thanks also to the girls on my MILF board. Although I have had to fight with Riss that she is not well enough to go to the mall yet, the 200.00 gift card definitely made her day. I am amazed every day by the generosity and caring of you ladies. Also thank you to Aunt Lori and Grandma Carole who kept me company during Riss's 5 hour surgery and Kate for helping to keep Riss laughing. My world is definitely a better place with all these people in it.

So we make our trek to the Cleveland Clinic on Sunday night for surgery Monday morning. We have waited for this day so Riss could feel better, but yet it seems to have come up too soon. I don't know if I am ready for this. I know it has to be done but that does not mean that I am happy about it. I am scared out of my mind. I think Riss is probably handling it better at this point. She sees it as an end to all the horrible symptoms she has been experiencing. I used to think being a nurse put me at an advantage when it came to medical issues. It. does. not. My mind immediately goes to worst case scenerios and it keeps me up at night. Please pray that my girl will come through and not need anything more then radiation. We both would be eternally grateful!

We have spent upwards of 9 Valentines Day's together. Who knew that 1 blind date would turn into meeting the person I would love for the rest of my life.
Jim and I met on a blind date. I decided to take some friends with me, in case he was a serial killer, or worse, ugly. I remember hiding behind the door and telling my friend I would signal if I thought he was heinous, and if I signaled, to tell him I couldn't make it. Well obviously he wasn't heinous.
We went out to a bar that night in a group. He was charming and everything I could ever want. I ended up drinking a little too much that night, and Jim made the mistake of wearing a white Polo shirt. I must interject that this was the 1st and last night he ever wore white around me:). I remember the jello shots of gold schlagger which were probably my downfall that night. I ended up puking my guts out all over Jim's nice white shirt.
I knew after that night he was the one, not because he asked me out again after I puked all over Eastern Ohio, not because he was so sweet about my puking and so caring, but because he held my hair while I puked that night so it wouldn't get in the toilet.
Happy Valentines Day Jim! I know you probably got the bad end of this deal:) xoxo

The surgery date has been set. Risser will be going to the Cleveland Clinic to have a total thyroidectomy. Surgery was postponed supposedly to get the thyroid under control. I think we just happen to have a busy surgeon and he fit us in when he could. This belief was affirmed by a call from the Endocrinologist who said that the thyroid inhibitor should be working at full throttle now and Riss could stop the Inderal. While I am doing cartwheels(ok theorhetical cartwheels), this pisses me off too. If she could go off the Inderal then the thyroid inhibitor is working and she should be stable for surgery. I know this is very slow growing but this puts Riss possibly missing outdoor track season as well. I know this sounds silly but she trained so hard for indoor track and then to miss it bummed her out. She just wants this over with and I cannot say that I blame her. I mean if I had two tumors on my thyroid one of them visible and palpable, I would be ready to get it out too. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers around the 2nd of March. They are all greatly appreciated!

So we are in a hurry up and wait mode. We saw the surgeon who from here on out will be know as Dr Jewfro. He seems nice enough and very knowledgeable on Pediatric Thyroid Cancer. So I don't think we could be in better hands at this point. Dr Jewfro seems to think it is cancer so he did a biopsy after every doctor telling Risser she wouldn't have to have one. I was pissed but also understood why he felt he had to do it. He did a section of the nodule and also lymph nodes. I almost passed out but she handled it like a trooper. There isn't enough Xanax in the world for me to sit still for that. She did it with nary a whimper. I am so proud of that kid.

So basically the plan is this.....Inderal and throid suppressive medicine for 3 weeks. Then one week of I think it is called Lugol or something like that, but it is an iodine drink she will need to drink 1 week prior to surgery everyday. This shrinks the blood supply to the thyroid to try and prevent so much blood loss during surgery. He said that if he has to remove lymph nodes then there is a 30-40% chance she will lose her parathyroid glands also.

Riss continues to feel like she has been hit by a mack truck and the medications make her feel like shit. Her pulse rate continues to h0over in the 110's even on the Inderal. She just wants to get this over with and get better. It is so hard to get her to take medications that make her feel like shit. She will continue to try to go to school through this but it is really hard for her because she is so weak. We will try again tomorrow and if she cannot get through it then we will start home instruction until she is back and feeling better after surgery.

So we have pre-admission testing at the Cleveland Clinic Wednesday and that is where Risser will be having her surgery. Keep the well wishes and prayers coming, we appreciate every one!

“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.” Author Unknown

This quote pretty much sums up how we are feeling at Casa de Miserable these days. Because I am lazy I am just posting the updates I emailed to family.

Here is the abbreviated version of what happened. The big nodule on the left side is believed to be Hoshimotos thyroiditis. This is an auto-immune condition that does open the door to may other autoimmune diseases such a Celiac's, Lupus, Type 1 Diabetes, Autoimmune liver Disease and scleroderma. The main thing that concerns them about the larger nodule is that she shows no antibodies for Hoshimotos thyroiditis. So it may be something else or just presents in an abnormal fashion. She will have to be monitored for this for the rest of her life. The nodule is pressing against the trachea and making her cough all the time. So of course because the size and location it will have to be removed.

The right side still presents as a malignancy they are opting to remove the whole thyroid. No sense in doing a needle biopsy because they are removing the whole thyroid anyway(which I agree with and they would have had a fight on their hands had they told me they wanted to do one.) So she needs to have a nuclear study to see exactly the position of the big nodule before surgery because then they know the position to major structures in the throat. They do not do the test at Children’s so we found a place locally that does them and we will get in Wednesday. It is a 2 day test so she will go in Wednesday morning then goes back again Thursday. We are anticipating meeting with the surgeon on Friday or Monday, then surgery sometime next week.

We will know after the pathology is back after the surgery what the next steps are. The Endocrinologist put her on Inderal for her heart rate which was 148. So that is the long and short of it. Things could be worse, they could be better. He said he felt with surgery and radiation she would probably be fine depending on what the nuclear study shows.

Riss is actually doing very well considering and liked the Doctor. She just wants to get busy, get well, and get back to track and school. She is having horrible neck pain now and feels very weak most of the time. They said this is just the excess thyroid hormone catching up with her. Thank you for all your emails and prayers. They were much appreciated. We are not out of the woods but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope that it does not end up being a train.

I got news I had hoped I would never here. Yes the big "C----er". I am beyond devastated. R went for her yearly sports physical yesterday and her Ped found a knot on her thyroid. So we were immediately sent for an ultrasound of her thyroid. We got the results today and the ultrasound found 2 areas of interest. There is the benign appearing cyst that the doctor palpated on the right lobe and the mass that we knew nothing about that is wrapped around the left lobe of thyroid. I thought it was a mistake at first, that they messed up the right and left. That is not the case. If the doctor had not noticed the knot on the right side of her neck, we never would have known the suspected malignancy was there. We have no concrete plan yet to what will happen.

I am a nurse, my mind easily knows all the worst case scenerios and my mind just keeps repeating all those scenerios. She will be going to Children's on Monday and they told us to expect to stay. I have not talked to Riss about what the doctors are thinking and fuck if I know how I will approach that.

How do you tell a 15 year old that they are sick? She is my baby, my only little girl, my firstborn, how can I destroy her innocence. No matter the outcome she will come out of this a changed person. I am so afraid something will happen to her. I never wanted her to feel hurt or scared or to have to question her mortality at 15 years old. I know R is not the 1st person to recieve this type of diagnosis but it is just moving so fast. I feel like it just keeps tumbling over us and we cannot catch our breath. I beg of you no matter what your religion to pray for my daughter, hell sacrifice a chicken if you have to just please send those healing thoughts our way.

If anyone who reads this blog knows anyone especially an adolescent who has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer please let me know either through the comments or e-mail(denissa06 at axisps dot com), I would just like to know what to expect. R was always my healthy kid. In the last 10 years she has only been to the doctor once a year for physicals. Between the boy who turns blue, with a rare brain defect and the girl with the big "C", I must have pissed someone off in a a past life. I am raising the white flag, I am calling uncle. Please universe no more, because I really do not think I am strong enough to take it.

Happy 2009 Everyone!
I hope 2009 brings us a better economy and maybe even a better world!
I know at this point I was supposed to have a list of resolutions, things that I will do to better myself in the New Year, I have only one. I am an overachiever like that. My one resolution is to get this damn blow up electronic robot out of my dining room! This may seem like a small thing but it has been there almost a year. It mocks me with it's sightless blue eye. For some reason Rainman has a love hate relationship with this robot. He doesn't want it gone but it cannot leave the dining room either. So I have decided to take matters into my own hands. I have put a $5.00 bounty on the robots head.
Any takers?